is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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