it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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