Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
