So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
