hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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