he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
