Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
