you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
