We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
