well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
