it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
my poor anus
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
as a side note pls kill me
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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