What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
