At least make sure they are 18
Why
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
