I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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