I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
third nipple confirmed
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
