Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
