she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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