there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize