So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Blood and glitter go together right?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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