home. puking in laundry basket.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize