one might say we're banned from that church
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
