So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
