I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
