she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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