i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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