I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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