yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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