he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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