worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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