You can't special order awesome
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
