I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I woke up under a house in Key West
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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