We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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