Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize