So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
