My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
