I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
