it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
