so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Randomize
