Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
If I die, sorry about rent.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize