At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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