Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize