Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry oh_hot_damn_7 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub

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(512): View more from Texas

its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.

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(619): View more from California

I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.

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(214): View more from Texas

So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.

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(313): View more from Michigan

I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”

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