Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
whose parrot is this?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
