no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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