He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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