Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
