that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
And then my night got REAL pukey
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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