If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize