So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
