I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Randomize
