apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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