right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
