I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
