Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
