I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
