Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
