have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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