So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm passing your future prison.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
