At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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