how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize