Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
