A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
