i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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