he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
