So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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