watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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