I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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